[Seattle-editorial] FP: King County, Diebold Voting Software, and Felons, Oh My

[Gentry Lange]

Yes, Sheri's rewrite looks good. Feel free to use as the final... and the
Global would be a good place for it as well yes. I will work on a final, if
someone doesn't beat me to the punch.

Gentry

-----Original Message-----
From: sheri at speakeasy.org [mailto:sheri at speakeasy.net]
Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 9:56 AM
To: g at art13.com; Editorial
Subject: Re: [Seattle-editorial] FP: King County, Diebold Voting
Software, and Felons, Oh My


approve with a few suggested changes:

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Gentry Lange [mailto:g at art13.com]
> Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 07:47 AM
> To: 'Editorial'
> Subject: [Seattle-editorial] 	FP: King County, Diebold Voting Software,
and Felons, Oh My
>
> Full Disclosure, I'm Andy's Campaign Manager. Walt was at this Press
> Conference as well... so I didn't see anything from him today, so here's
my
> post.
>
> Gentry
>
____________________________________________________________________________
> _________
>
> Title: King County, Diebold Voting Software, and Felons, Oh My
> Subtitle: Democracy and Voting In America
>
> Andy Stephenson, a Democratic Candidate for Secretary of State in
Washington
> has dug up some new dirt on Diebold, along with Black Box Voting author,
Bev
> Harris.

i'd suggest putting the phrase about Bev before the phrase about digging up
dirt, because it's not clear whether Andy has dug up dirt on Diebold, along
with Bev the way it's currently written.  just to be clear.

rewrite:  Andy Stephenson, a Democratic Candidate for Secretary of State in
Washington, along with Black Box Voting author, Bev Harris, have dug up some
new "dirt" on Diebold.


> According to allegations made at a press conference today in
> Seattle, Diebold is apparently full of convicted felons, this AP Story
> details some of the allegations levied.

rewrite:  According to allegations made at press conference yesterday in
Seattle, Diebold is apparently full of convicted felons.  This AP story
details some of the allegations levied.

> While the complete press pack is
> available online at Black Box Voting.

this sentence is out of place here.  i'd move it to the end of the story and
delete the word "while".

> During the press conference it came
> out that, Jeffery Dean, a current executive with Diebold was previously
> convicted of thefts that were hidden through a "cover-up [that] involved a
> high degree of sophistication and planning in the use and alteration of
> records in the computerized accounting system that defendant maintained
for
> the victim, and the defendant used his position of trust and fiduciary
> responsibility as a computer systems and accounting consultant for the
> victim to facilitate the commission of the offenses.”

rewrite:  "During the press conference, it came out that Jeffrey Dean, a
current executive with Diebold, was previously.....
is the box supposed to be a closing quote?

> Last month the
> Secretary of State of California had a meeting and ordered Diebold to
> cooperate with, and to pay for an audit of their installed
> hardware/firmware/software versions statewide. Today partial results of
that
> audit were released, and it was a doozie...
>
>
>
____________________________________________________________________________
> __________
>
> <a href="http://www.andystephenson.com">Andy Stephenson</a>, a Democratic
> Candidate
> for Secretary of State in Washington has dug up some new dirt on Diebold,
> along
> with Black Box Voting author, Bev Harris. According to allegations made at
a
> press
> conference today in Seattle, Diebold is apparently full of convicted
felons,
> this
> <a
>
href="http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20031216/APN/3
> 12161067">AP
> Story</a> details some of the allegations levied. While the complete press
> pack
> is available online at <a href="http://www.blackboxvoting.com">Black Box
> Voting</a>.
> During the press conference it came out that, Jeffery Dean, a current
> executive
> with Diebold was previously convicted of thefts that were hidden through a
> "cover-up
> [that] involved a high degree of sophistication and planning in the use
and
> alteration
> of records in the computerized accounting system that defendant maintained
> for
> the victim, and the defendant used his position of trust and fiduciary
> responsibility
> as a computer systems and accounting consultant for the victim to
facilitate
> the
> commission of the offenses.” Last month the Secretary of State of
California
> <a href="http://www.ss.ca.gov/elections/vsp_121603.pdf">had
> a meeting</a> and ordered Diebold to cooperate with, and to pay for an
audit
> of
> their installed hardware/firmware/software versions statewide. Today
partial
> results
> of that audit were released, and <a
> href="http://www.blackboxvoting.org/htdocs/dcforum/DCForumID52/28.html">it
> was a doozie</a>...
>
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